They lifted my baby behind the c-section curtain, and I saw him for the first time. I’ll never forget that beautiful moment. My journey into motherhood began with Tyler, and it was marked by a big hurdle – the struggle to breastfeed. This was the beginning of my breastfeeding journey.
I was told that a natural birth would be impossible because of my baby’s size—a claim I later discovered wasn’t true. At 38 weeks, he weighed 3.5kg, but I trusted the advice of the obstetrician. I agreed to a planned C-section, and everything went smoothly—until I tried breastfeeding. The epidural made it hard for him to latch and suck in those first few days, which affected my milk supply. At the time, I didn’t realize the two were connected. I received no guidance or support, and my knowledge about breastfeeding was very limited.
I thought breastfeeding would be easy. Many new mothers believe it’s an automatic skill for both baby and mother. Most of us quickly learn that breastfeeding is a skill that must be practiced, and that we need knowledge, guidance, and support to do it successfully.
I struggled to get him to latch, convinced I wasn’t producing enough milk. In desperation, I started pumping to measure my milk, which led to a downward spiral. I also struggled with postpartum depression, feeling overwhelmed and like I had failed. I didn’t realize that breastfeeding directly at the breast actually helps increase milk production. This difficult time became an important chapter in my breastfeeding story.
After about two months of trying while supplementing, I gave up, feeling inadequate as a mother and a woman. I desperately wanted to understand why I couldn’t produce enough milk, but there was no online support. This was nearly 18 years ago, when very little breastfeeding help was available online.
My breastfeeding struggle with Tyler was the main reason I started this website in 2009. After a lot of research, I realized there was nothing inherently wrong with me; it was the lack of information that caused my breastfeeding issues. I was determined to make breastfeeding work with my second child and to share my breastfeeding story with others.
This website was born out of a desire to help myself and other mothers facing breastfeeding problems. I became increasingly passionate about breastfeeding as I read more and more about it and started blogging about it. The website touched the lives of thousands of mothers daily, and the overwhelmingly positive feedback filled me with a deep sense of purpose, and also allowed me to care for my children as a single mother for many years.
Finding out that a natural birth would offer the best chances for breastfeeding success with my second child, I chose a Vaginal Birth After C-Section (VBAC) and decided to have a water home birth. My doctor was against a VBAC birth at home. Fortunately, I found Sue King, the only supportive midwife and doula in South Africa, willing to assist. I am deeply thankful for the late Sue King, a fierce advocate for women’s rights to choose where and how they gave birth.
My labor began two days earlier than expected, and when Sue arrived, I was already 9cm dilated. The unmedicated birth lasted only six hours, and I remained calm with the help of my doula, who kept telling me to breathe. Although quite painful during contractions, Lisa’s birth was also the most tranquil and empowering experience of my life.
Breastfeeding presented no issues this time around. Thanks to all my research, I knew exactly what to do. My breastfeeding story took a positive turn, and I breastfed her up until the second year. Lisa is 14 now and an extraordinary soul. She is my sweet princess, who, through her birth, taught me the beauty of surrender and helped me recognize my innate femininity and strength.
What a joy it is to embrace motherhood, and what an incredible journey it has been. Struggling to breastfeed was a testing experience that taught valuable life lessons. With knowledge and empowerment, I became a breastfeeding advocate. My breastfeeding journey connected me with other mothers, creating a sense of community, and taught me to embrace imperfection, understanding that parenthood is a continual process of learning and growth.
I learned to be kinder to myself. I discovered the importance of self-compassion and recognizing that every mother’s journey is unique.
After Lisa’s birth, I pursued a certification as a breastfeeding counselor through Childbirth International, and I completed all the written exams with high marks. Regrettably, I couldn’t allocate time for the practical component. Over time, my passions shifted, and I developed a keen interest in nutrition. After completing my nutrition studies through the Nutrition Institute, I am now a qualified nutrition coach.
I hope that my breastfeeding story serves as an inspiration and a source of encouragement for others. I invite you to join our supportive community by connecting with us on the following platforms:
Happy breastfeeding!
Tracy Behr
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