Bringing a new baby into the world is supposed to be one of life’s most beautiful experiences. But what happens when the joy you expected just isn’t there? When you’re overwhelmed, anxious, and maybe even resentful? And what if, on top of that, breastfeeding isn’t going as planned?
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Up to 80% of mothers experience some form of anxiety or depression after giving birth. Many don’t even realize they’re dealing with postpartum depression (PPD) — and the pressure to breastfeed can make it even harder to cope.
What Is Postpartum Depression?
Even under ideal circumstances, giving birth and caring for a newborn is intense. A little crying, some weepy days, and feeling overwhelmed are normal. These “baby blues” usually fade within a couple of weeks.
But if those feelings linger or deepen — if you feel down for days at a time, or disconnected from your baby — that might be PPD.
Some signs of PPD
- Feeling hopeless, tearful, or constantly emotional
- Detachment from your baby
- Trouble sleeping (or sleeping too much)
- Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
- Feeling overwhelmed or unable to cope
- Nightmares or persistent anxiety
- Difficulty connecting with your partner
- Negative thoughts toward your baby
- Weight fluctuations or persistent physical symptoms (like headaches or stomach issues)
Only about 10% of moms will experience full-blown PPD, but it affects the whole family when it happens — including the baby.
Breastfeeding: The Benefits and the Pressure
Nursing may reduce postpartum depression risk
Breastfeeding also helps some moms heal emotionally from traumatic births, past abuse, or early separation from baby. The skin-to-skin contact and bond can be deeply therapeutic.
Breastfeeding has well-known benefits, including the natural release of oxytocin, the “love hormone”. Oxytocin also has mood-boosting effects. That’s why many believe breastfeeding helps protect against PPD. And for some moms, it does. One study even found that breastfeeding cuts the risk of depression in half.
On the flip side, Breastfeeding can make things harder
The pressure to breastfeed — or the guilt when it doesn’t work out — can be overwhelming. Moms who don’t breastfeed, or who are separated from their babies after birth, may be at higher risk for emotional distress.
Moms experiencing PPD may struggle with milk supply, feel detached during feedings, or stop breastfeeding earlier than planned. Depression symptoms can intensify when breastfeeding feels like “just another thing I’m failing at.”
Difficulties with latch, pain, low supply, or pressure from others can quickly turn breastfeeding into a source of anxiety.
What Is D-MER? (Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex)
Some mothers experience sudden, intense feelings of sadness or hopelessness right before their milk lets down. This is called Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER).
It usually lasts only a few minutes and disappears once the let-down is complete. But for affected moms, it can feel confusing or even alarming.
If you suspect D-MER, talk to a lactation consultant. You’re not alone and it’s not your fault.
What Causes Postpartum Depression?
PPD is caused by a mix of biological, emotional, and social factors:
- Sudden hormonal shifts (especially estrogen and progesterone) after birth
- Family or personal history of mental illness
- Lack of sleep
- Feeling unsupported or overwhelmed
- Breastfeeding challenges
- Constant crying or high-needs babies
- Body image changes
Understanding the cause can help moms realize this isn’t a personal failure. It’s a treatable condition.
Treatment for Postpartum Depression While Breastfeeding
Emotional & Lifestyle Support
- Talk to someone — a partner, friend, or therapist
- Get help at home (chores, meals, childcare)
- Aim for 8 hours of sleep (naps count!)
- Eat well, including healthy fats and colorful foods
- Move your body — even a short walk helps
- Take a breastfeeding-safe multivitamin
Medical Treatment for Postpartum Depression While Breastfeeding
- Therapy, such as CBT or counseling
- Antidepressants that are safe for breastfeeding (like Zoloft or some SSRIs)
- LactMed® is a database of information on safe medications.
Antidepressants and breastfeeding can absolutely go together. Stopping breastfeeding to take medication isn’t always necessary and in some cases, stopping can make depression worse.
Natural Approaches (Discuss with your provider)
- Massage therapy
- Herbs like echinacea or omega-3s
- St. John’s Wort (may interact with medications — use caution)
- CBD (safety in breastfeeding is still being studied)
PPD and Breastfeeding – Tips
You absolutely can. Many moms breastfeed while managing depression. But you may need more support and that’s okay.
Tips that help:
- Work with a lactation consultant familiar with PPD
- Talk to your doctor about safe antidepressants
- Consider mixed feeding (nursing and formula or pumping)
- Create low-pressure feeding goals
- Ask for help when you’re overwhelmed
Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Every drop of breast milk matters—but your baby being fed, loved, and cared for is what truly matters.
When to Get Help (And Where to Start)
If you’re asking yourself…
- “Why don’t I feel like myself?”
- “Am I a bad mom for not feeling happy?”
- “Why do I feel numb or disconnected from my baby?”
That’s your sign to talk to someone.
Start here:
- Talk to your OB or pediatrician
- Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: 1-833-943-5746
- Find a breastfeeding support group near you.
You Deserve to Feel Better
Postpartum depression doesn’t make you a bad mom. And struggling with breastfeeding doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
Whether you breastfeed for a year, a month, or not at all — your baby needs you more than anything. That means your mental health matters.
Q&A
Not necessarily. In fact, weaning may increase depression in some moms. Most SSRIs are safe in low doses during breastfeeding.
Work with your provider and a lactation consultant to make a plan that protects both your mental health and your feeding goals.
Untreated PPD can affect both mom and baby:
– Delayed speech or developmental milestones
– Difficulty bonding
– Increased risk of behavioral problems in older children
– Risk of self-harm or suicide in moms
– Ongoing breastfeeding struggles and sleep disruption
Getting help early protects everyone.
References
- Definition: how Postpartum depression differs from “baby blues”. Cleveland Clinic
- Summarize key research: the protective effect of breastfeeding in some circumstances. PMC
- LactMed® is a database of information on safe medications.
