Breastfeeding and Your Sex Life

When it comes to getting in the mood while breastfeeding, there are a bunch of reasons why some moms just aren't feeling it.

mom and dad, baby with mom and dad in bed
Baby looking up at the camera while mom and dad sleeps.

Breastfeeding and Sex

Breastfeeding and Your Sex Life - Audio

Are you wondering how to stay intimate and keep the spark alive while breastfeeding? For moms, there are concerns like milk leaking during sex, a lower sex drive while breastfeeding, and the appearance of saggy breasts. Couples have to find a way to adjust their sex life to fit their new mommy and daddy routines. It's all about tackling these concerns together and making it work!

dad kisses mom
Dad kissing Mom with the baby in between them.

Low Libido While Breastfeeding

Some lucky ladies actually experience a boost in desire, while others might have little to no interest in getting frisky. Low estrogen levels while breastfeeding can mess with ovulation, tamp down the desire for sex and can leave things dry.

There are a bunch of reasons why some moms just aren't feeling it...

Vaginal Dryness and Breastfeeding

What about vaginal dryness? Things might be a bit dry 'down there', but this doesn't necessarily mean that your libido is low. It's often due to Estrogen levels taking a dip during breastfeeding. Don't stress; this is normal. Vaginal lubricants can come to the rescue - products like KY Jelly, Astroglide, and Replens are specially made to combat dryness and make things more comfortable.

Milk Ejection During Sex

What about when the milk starts flowing during sex? There might be different reactions to this - some might feel a bit weirded out by it. Oxytocin, aka the love hormone, is the same hormone that makes breast milk flow when you're breastfeeding. When you're making love, oxytocin can get released too.

If you're not keen on having a milk shower mid-action, here are a couple of things you can try. First, consider wearing a bra and some breast pads. That way, you can catch any unexpected leaks and keep things more contained. Another option is to nurse your baby before you get busy.

Feeling Like You Don't Want to Be Touched

Moms who breastfeed 24/7 sometimes get to the point where they're like, "Whoa, too much touching!" Have an open chat with your partner about what you're comfortable with and set some boundaries. Let them know what you're feeling, what you want, and what you don't want. Good communication is key!

unhappy, don't touch me
Woman wants to be left alone.

Breast Appearance Concerns

Saggy breasts aren't just a breastfeeding thing—they're often a souvenir from the pregnancy itself. Those changes in your breast appearance are totally normal and part of the whole post-pregnancy package. Don't be too hard on yourself or stress about getting your pre-baby bod back right away. Give yourself a break, show some self-compassion, and remember that it's all part of the beautiful journey of motherhood.

Contributing Factors

Let's talk about the things that can mess with your desire while breastfeeding. There are a bunch of factors at play.

  • Fatigue is a biggie - when your baby's sleep routine is all over the place, you're left feeling like a walking zombie.
  • Lack of time and crazy schedules can make finding a moment to get frisky seem impossible.
  • Taking care of the little munchkins all day can leave you emotionally wiped out, making it hard to think about anything other than collapsing into bed.
  • Thinning vaginal membranes, discomfort, and those lovely headaches from lack of sleep can put a damper on your mojo.
  • Postpartum depression is something many new moms go through after having a baby, and it can affect how they feel about sex. Depression can lower a woman's desire for sex, making it harder for couples to connect intimately. It's important for partners to talk openly and with kindness and, if needed, seek professional help.

So, it's important to recognize all these factors and find ways to tackle them together. Communication, finding time for rest, and prioritizing self-care can go a long way in reviving that spark in the bedroom.

Co-sleeping challenges

What about getting intimate when you've got a little one snuggled up next to you? You might want to think about sneaking off to a different room for some alone time. That way, you can minimize any interruptions and fully focus on each other.

Another option would be a "side bed" attached to your main bed. It's like having a mini crib right there within arm's reach. This way, your little munchkin can snooze safely nearby while you and your partner enjoy some grown-up time. Finding a way to have intimate moments is all about being creative and making it work for your unique situation.

Exploring Alternative Intimacy Ideas

You might need to get creative! You can take relaxing baths together, give each other lots of hugs, and make meals together. Even if you just enjoy a cozy movie night during your baby's nap time - these moments will help you feel connected and close.

cooking together, couple cooking
A couple cooking together

Support for Breastfeeding Mothers

Having a solid support system for breastfeeding mamas is essential. Partners should go out of their way to show love and understanding.

Reassure her that you've got her back. Let her know that she's doing an amazing job and get involved in taking care of that little bundle of joy. Help with those diaper changes and late-night feedings. It'll lighten her load and bring you two closer together as a team.

With a supportive partner, a mom will feel valued and understood, and this could strengthen the bond between them.

Time for Self-care

Amidst all the breastfeeding and newborn chaos, taking care of yourselves sometimes takes a backseat. Self-care is not selfish—it's essential for your overall well-being.

Exercise is important! It boosts energy and mood and makes a person feel better overall. Finding time for your hobbies and interests is a must. It keeps your sense of self alive and reminds you that you're more than just a mommy.

what is your hobby
What is your hobby?

Partners should take some time for self-care as well, whether it's hitting the gym, indulging in a hobby, or simply having a moment to themselves. When both partners prioritize self-care, they reduce stress, find balance, and become even better at supporting each other's personal growth - this will lead to greater intimacy and a deeper connection.

In conclusion, breastfeeding and sex can totally go hand in hand. Keep the lines of communication open and be understanding of each other's needs.

Does Sex Increase Milk Supply?

Sexual intimacy actually offers numerous benefits for a new mother. It serves as an effective stress reliever and can even aid in achieving a restful night's sleep naturally. Additionally, engaging in sexual activity promotes healthy blood flow, which in turn enhances milk production and flow, benefiting both the mother and the baby. So, yes, indirectly, sex can increase milk production!

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What If My Husband Wants to Breastfeed?

Breast sensitivity and leaking during sex can vary for breastfeeding mothers. Some women find it easier to set boundaries with their partners, requesting that nipple stimulation be avoided to prevent being pulled into "mama mode" and to stay fully present in the sexual experience. They may dislike having their breasts touched altogether due to sensitivity or the strong letdown sensation. In such cases, partners can focus on other areas for pleasure. Some mothers choose to wear a bra during sex to separate the association of their breasts with breastfeeding from the intimate experience.

However, there are also women who enjoy their partners touching their breast's and even find that breastfeeding their husbands is a sensual experience.

Ultimately, it depends on personal preferences and comfort levels. Each mother and her partner can explore what works best for them, keeping in mind their individual boundaries and desires.